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Funny satire stories about Toby Dell

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Funny story: Family of five eaten after local lion-tamer works from home

Family of five eaten after local lion-tamer works from home

Tragedy struck in a quiet East London street yesterday, when a circus lion that was being kept in a garden shed by its keeper killed and ate the man's wife and four children. Lion-tamer, Toby Dell, 42, from Vallance Road, Whitechapel, told a local...

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Funny story: Local man converts bath to shower with wife still in it

Local man converts bath to shower with wife still in it

A local DIY enthusiast has told The East London Gazette that he converted the bath in his upstairs bathroom into a spacious, walk-in shower - while his wife remained in the tub. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, revealed: "The...

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Funny story: Local man practising relaxation technique attacked by giant squid

Local man practising relaxation technique attacked by giant squid

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he was attacked and badly injured by a giant squid as he was trying to ease his stress about the coronavirus outbreak by immersing himself in a relaxing fantasy about swimming with dolphin...

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Funny story: Local man discovers Messala out of Ben Hur in Whitechapel pub

Local man discovers Messala out of Ben Hur in Whitechapel pub

A 37-year-old forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, in Whitechapel, has told reporters that he spotted the ruthless Roman Tribune, Messala, from the epic movie, Ben Hur, drinking in The Lord Rodney's Head public house on Monday evening. Toby D...

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Funny story: Local drunk 'encapsulates the spirit of Princess Margaret' says Honey Boo Boo

Local drunk 'encapsulates the spirit of Princess Margaret' says Honey Boo Boo

A habitual Whitechapel drunkard has been lauded by reality TV star, Honey Boo Boo, who yesterday praised the man for mirroring the chaotic, drink-fuelled life of royal bad girl, Princess Margaret. Miss Boo Boo, who was a guest at a Whitechapel tow...

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Funny story: Local man orbits Venus in converted shed

Local man orbits Venus in converted shed

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has reportedly orbited the planet Venus in a garden shed that he had converted into a rudimentary rocketship over the course of less than a dozen weekends. Toby Dell, a gravity caster at Whitechapel Bell Foundry, blas...

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Funny story: Local man falls in love with suction hook

Local man falls in love with suction hook

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local paper that he has fallen deeply in love with a small green suction hook given to his wife as a gift and that he won't rest until he has made the item his for all eternity. Toby Dell, a carpet-fitter f...

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Funny story: Local woman decapitated partner during break at 'world's most romantic' holiday isle

Local woman decapitated partner during break at 'world's most romantic' holiday isle

A 24-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has been found guilty of murder in a Greek court of law, after she shot her partner 6 times before decapitating his body and tossing his head out of a window in their apartment on the idyllic isle o...

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Funny story: Local man filled with hope for nail fungus relief following Boxing Day spam mail 'miracle'

Local man filled with hope for nail fungus relief following Boxing Day spam mail 'miracle'

A 54-year-old man from Whitechapel, in East London, felt an overwhelming sense of hope and joy after a spam email he opened in the early hours of Boxing Day contained the promise of lasting relief from the misery of toenail fungus. Toby Dell, a me...

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Funny story: Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl reaches fever-pitch

Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl reaches fever-pitch

Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl grows apace. A 54-year-old man has told a local newspaper that the new washing-up bowl that his wife was given by a friend, has grown exponentially in his affections, and is now his most h...

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Funny story: Arthritic local Catholic man deems it OK to give thumbs-up before Latin Mass

Arthritic local Catholic man deems it OK to give thumbs-up before Latin Mass

A 55-year-old Roman Catholic man from Whitechapel in East London has decided that it's perfectly acceptable to deliver a thumbs-up gesture towards the altar prior to the Solemn Latin Mass instead of the customary genuflection, which would involve ben...

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Funny story: Street brawl descends into full-scale Trump rally

Street brawl descends into full-scale Trump rally

Police were forced to draw batons and wade into a Friday night punch-up in Whitechapel Road last night as the melee descended into a full-scale Donald Trump political rally. Twelve arrests were made, mostly for insulting behaviour and affray, and...

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Funny story: Local man's Christian values on the ebb following post-Mass toe-stubbing incident

Local man's Christian values on the ebb following post-Mass toe-stubbing incident

A 43-year-old East London man began to question his faith in God last Sunday, after stubbing his toe on an uneven paving slab just a few minutes after attending a sung Latin Mass at Westminster Cathedral. Toby Dell, a die-setter from Commercial St...

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Funny story: Man angers fellow commuters with 'disgusting act'

Man angers fellow commuters with 'disgusting act'

A 32-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London came under fire from fellow commuters yesterday morning, when he began waxing his toes on the platform of Stepney Green tube station. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer from Dock Street, was hara...

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Funny story: Woman boils kettle on Brexiteer husband's head

Woman boils kettle on Brexiteer husband's head

A 54-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London woman has told a local newspaper that she boiled a full kettle of water by placing it on the head of her staunch Brexiteer husband's head during a party political broadcast by the Liberal Democrats.

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Funny story: Whitechapel woman battered husband with TV stand to 'limber up' for Black Friday

Whitechapel woman battered husband with TV stand to 'limber up' for Black Friday

A 23-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London told a court that she beat her husband with a television stand to get some practice for the hurly-burly, Black Friday melee in 11 days time. Tracy Dell of Vallance Road, fractured the skull of he...

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Funny story: London Man Caged For Shouting At Burglar

London Man Caged For Shouting At Burglar

A London man was given two consecutive life sentences at The Old Bailey yesterday, after being found guilty of shouting loudly at a burglar who had broken into his home in the early hours of the morning in June of this year. Toby Dell, a postman f...

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