LONDON – (Satire News) – Word filtering out of Scotland Yard is that the twice-impeached, one-term loser (aka Donald Jonathan Trump) is now being investigated for an alleged big toe-sucking incident he had with Sarah Ferguson, known as the Duchess of York.
Fergie, as she is widely known, is a charity patron, a writer, a television personality, and a big fan of the Manchester United Red Devils.
In her spare time, the 62-year-old loves to sew socks, cook Peruvian dishes, and train her two Pomeranian puppies (Stella and Artois) to do somersaults while holding a crumpet in their mouth.
Back when Ferguson had put on some weight, a reporter for the BBC, who shall go nameless, pegged her with the nickname “The Duchess of Pork.”
Sarah, merely laughed it off by saying that the BBCer (a male) was merely a bloody, blooming, blithering, ball-less, bitch bloke.
Scotland Yard has released two photos to the British news media, which clearly shows Melania’s adulterous husband kneeling before Ferguson, who is relaxing on a Portuguese beach chair.
The Trumptard, as 93% of all American’s refer to the predatorial racist can be seen sucking on Fergie’s big left toe, as he is holding a Big Mac in his right hand.
Trump has denied the whole thing saying that he does not know the Duchess of York, and that he has never, ever been to England, Wembley Stadium, or ridden on one of London’s double-decker busses.
SIDENOTE: One of America’s top political pollsters, Frank Luntz, has revealed that old “Baby Fingers” Trump now utters a damn, fuckin' lie every 2.3 seconds.