Beatle fans cancel ceremony to forgive Yoko Ono, as melee ensues...

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 14 May 2021

image for Beatle fans cancel ceremony to forgive Yoko Ono, as melee ensues...
Yoko Ono circa 1970 in her "triangle" phase

Yoko has been a target for the ire of Beatles fans since 1969, or approximately 52 years now. Recently in the spirit of Love that her husband John Lennon preached, three major Beatles fan clubs joined together and planned a Yoko Is Forgiven Ceremony to be held in Strawberry Fields section of New York City’s Central Park for June 1, 2021.

At a planning meeting last night representatives of each of the three fan clubs met to plan the event. On the agenda was an exercise of reviewing a rather long list of grievances against Yoko. As meeting attendees worked their way through the list, they began having second thoughts about the ceremony itself. Before long, building security was on the scene because of the noise being made by the now agitated meeting attendees. Soon after, the police were called in as it was feared a Get Yoko lynch mob was forming.

According to reports, several members opposing the event were in attendance and were quite vocal in rehashing some of Yoko’s actions back in the late 60’s. Apparently, It wasn't long before the old resentments were revived for everyone. What began as mild discontent among attendees, soon turned to anger then rage and the meeting came to an ugly conclusion.

After being reached for comment Beatle Paul McCartney told us “It’s rather unfortunate, I’ve even forgiven Yoko for getting me busted for pot on the 1979 Japan Tour. I don’t see why our fans need to hold those resentments 50 years later. After all, she’s just a frail old woman now eh.”

Simon Howard of the British Beatles Fan Club disagrees however “I had reservations all along. She’s right evil is what she is. I don’t enjoy it but I’m not going to suddenly say it’s all right what she did am I?”

As we tried to depart, Mr Howard ran after us and added "You do know she deliberately dismantled the group? She was all about Yoko and nothing else! She gave not a thought to the millions of us who grew up with the Beatles, she just thought her inane, so-called art projects were the thing..." After we made several attempts to disengage, Mr. Howard began directing his anger toward us even after we explained that we had what we needed.

Yoko herself was not available for comment. There's no word on whether the ceremony might be a future possibility.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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