John Lennon was once a spotty, young rebel rascal, and Jaggedone proves that here!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 18 October 2020

image for John Lennon was once a spotty, young rebel rascal, and Jaggedone proves that here!
Imagine the shock if Lennon's fans knew the original version of his classic hit!

(NOT EDITED) To celebrate Lennon's 80th birthday, Jaggedone, sent one of his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star paparazzi reporters, Billy Bogrolll-Beetle, into the house where John grew up and guess what he found? The original lyrics of 'Imagine' written on a bog-roll secretly hidden under Lennon's striped, yellow-stained mattress.

After deciphering his original lyrics, it was obvious Lennon had a 'chip on his shoulder', no fish, although his mattress stunk like rotting fish, as long as Penny Lane, which was named after, James Penny, Liverpool's mega slave-trader. So, one can 'Imagine' why John was such a teenage, spotty rebel, and here for the first time in history are Lennon's infamous lyrics hidden forever, but not from Jaggedone's CIA!

Lennon's original version was called:

I'M A VIRGIN

I'm a virgin, young and spotty
Sometimes I'm hard and need a potty
Nothing to 'toss' or turn for
And no climax, too

Imagine all the virgins
Wanking in bed having fun
You, may say I'm a 'Tosser'
But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us
And the world will 'toss' as one

I'm still a virgin, so what the hell
I wonder if I ever can
Get laid by a woman, she'll ring my bell
Hopefully, not by Epstein, he's a man

I'm a virgin, my hands are free
Under the mattress, just me
You may say I'm a 'wanker'
But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you will join us
And the world will 'wank' as oneā€¦

After this astonishing find, and insight into Lennon's quite disturbed teenage existence, Jaggedone offered the signed bog-roll to the Beatle's museum in Liverpool. they kindly refused and told him to "fuck off you wanker!"

Paul McCartney denies all knowledge of these original Lennon lyrics, but nicked them whilst writing his famous hit; 'Mug of King-Liar' better known as a Scottish fata-morgana!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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