Ex-3-Year-Old toddler sues Paul McCartney for nicking his lyrics to 'Yesterday!'

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 15 November 2020

image for Ex-3-Year-Old toddler sues Paul McCartney for nicking his lyrics to 'Yesterday!'
The original, 3-year-old writer of 'Yesterday' peeing in his potty! McCartney, shame on you!

(NOT EDITED) Beatles lyric writers, McCartney and Lennon, are not quite what they are projected to be, especially Paul. After all these years of Beatlemania, the truth is gradually seeping out of red-brick-terraced-houses in Liverpool.

A Liverpudlian, Manchester United fan, a very rare breed, sent a yellow, screwed up, hardly decipherable, piece of toilet paper, the hard type, to Jaggedone at his 'Foolish' home on a hill in Germany via pigeon post.

Jaggedone, after expertly deciphering the scribble, discovered it is the original version of The Beatles classic, Yesterday! He then informed, the now 68 year-old owner of the lyric sheet, written on bog-paper while he was sitting on his potty. He is now suing McCartney, not Lennon (too late for that) for plagiarism.

Here, for the first time in the history of Beatlemania, is the original version of 'Yesterday', called 'Yesterday!' Written by a 3-year-old.

Note on The Beatles version: The lyrics are so simple, any 3-year-old-toddler could have written them, and that is why McCartney nicked them!

YESTERDAY original version written in nappies by Dwayne Rooney (no relation)

Yesterday
Mummy, took my potty away
Now it looks as though I'll pee and play
Oh, where's my nappies?
I had them on
Yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not sitting on my potty, where could it be?
There's no nappy hangin' over me
Oh, yesterday, I peed so happily

Why it had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say
I did something wrong, peed in my pants
now I long for yesterday

Yesterday
Peeing was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Because mummy slapped my botty
yesterday

Why it had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say
I wet the bed and wrote this song,
my wet underpants did pong
Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday
Peeing in my nappies was such an easy game to play
Now I need to grow up and pee in a tray
Oh, how I wish it was still
Yesterday

McCartney has offered Dwayne Rooney £ 5 million big ones to keep his secret, secret! He accepted, and donated it to poor, burnt-out-multi-millionaire United players, having psychological problems differentiating between a forward pass, and boring back passes to a bored De Gea!

'Oh, how I long for Yesterday!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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