Gary Glitter to make comeback

Funny story written by aningeniousname

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

image for Gary Glitter to make comeback
Gary Glitter alias Paul Gadd.

Saigon - In an exclusive in-prison interview with The Spoof; disgraced former Glam rock idol Gary Glitter told of his Vietnamese prison hell and his amazing plans for a future comeback.

Mr Glitter,82, real name Paul Gadd, spoke candidly about his vile crimes and of the tortuous medieval hell of Saigon's infamous Lon Phat Dong prison.

Mr Glitter received me cordially into his bijou but tastefully appointed cell, and after apologizing profusely for not being able to offer me tea showed me to a nearby chaise lounge; before ringing a small brass bell and ordering coffee from the guard stationed permanently outside his door (to dissuade fans from bothering him for autographs).

Mr Glitter then went onto describe in excruciating detail his day to day existence inside the walls of Lon Phat Dong, he began, "It's been awful, absolutely awful, the rooms are filthy, I mean look around you, this place hasn't been decorated in at least eighteen months! Only last week I was saying to the Governor that I hadn't had a decent meal in here since he managed to get hold of that Foie Gras, of course it wasn't the best quality, but you cant really expect that in Saigon, can you?"

Mr Glitter's flow was briefly broken by the arrival of our coffee, and I waited patiently while he admonished the guard for taking his time and then broke into that famous smile; tipped him and said, "And of course the service is terrible, but what can you do? it's a third world country."

The ageing Glam rocker then went on to tell me of his plans for a major comeback at the end of the year. "I've been writing loads of new stuff in here; of course its been hard as I've only had access to 4 or 5 guitars, and only very basic recording equipment, but I'm quite happy with the results and I think my fans will love it."

When pushed on the subject of his crimes Mr Glitter pleaded his total innocence to all charges and claimed he was framed by rogue elements within MI6 still seething over his political rallying cry "Leader of the pack." he said, "Those cats have been trying to take me down for years; notice how all my troubles started just after princess Di's murder? They needed me out the way in case I released another protest song that fingered the conspirators."

Mr Glitter then confidently changed the subject back to his future come back, "My management want my first record back to be a cover, and have suggested "Young at heart" the old Sinatra hit, but I said no way man, I've matured as an artist while in prison and wanna take my stuff in a drum and bass direction."

So it looks like the premature reports of the death of Mr Glitter's career have been greatly exaggerated and while Mr Glitter sits here in Lon Phat Dong contemplating his glittering future; a certain Mr Jackson may be looking warily over his heavily padded shoulder.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more