Because today is Pancake Day, man about town David Herington Smythe, from Mithering on the Trent, is calling everyone a tosser.
'It is just my little joke,' said David. 'I say it every Shrove Tuesday, and it just never fails to make me laugh.'
David's wife of 23 years, Deborah, said: 'The first time he said it, I laughed, as you are meant to do, when you are first courting someone, and then I realised that I had to keep up the pretence.'
David's son, Shane, said: 'Of course, Dad always insists on making the pancakes, so that really makes him the tosser. Of course, when I say it, it is never funny, but then I am 15, and going through an Emo stage, so I cannot really do the comedy.'
'Neither can your Dad,' continued Deborah.
