Man sending Valentine Cards to all of the women he knows

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 12 February 2021

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A Valentine's card? From Brian Asshat? My life is complete

Lonely bachelor Brian Asshat is sending Valentine's cards to all of the women that he knows.

'Yes,' said Brian, 'I will be sending 17 Valentine's cards this year, well I sent them all on Monday, so they should be delivered by now. I sent one to Phylis at the newsagent's, one to Amanda and Tracy who work at Tesco Express, one to the lady I see in the park. I don't know her name, but I have followed her quite a lot, and a few to people I knew years ago, who will have forgotten about me by now.'

Isobel, who received one of the cards from Brian, told us: 'I don't know who Brian Asshat is! What is he like? Is he handsome, tall and in his forties? Oh, like that is it? I suppose I should be flattered, but really I am not.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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