Because of yet another lockdown, Belgium is giving away all their delicious beer to foreigners daring to enter the country!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 20 October 2020

image for Because of yet another lockdown, Belgium is giving away all their delicious beer to foreigners daring to enter the country!
It's still October and no festival in Munich, so get to Belgium fast, and enjoy this added bonus!

(NOT EDITED) Belgians renowned for their superb tasting beers, BURP, have decided to give away all of it to any foreign Nutters daring to enter their wonderful country because of another lockdown.

However, there are a few minor pieces of criteria to observe before drinking oneself to oblivion:

Belgian monks, who brew the very best Belgian beer, are not allowed to be disturbed by drunks between 06.00PM and 06.00AM, they have to pray and booze themselves, BURP!

No Dutch people are allowed to participate in the national booze-up because the Dutch are a bunch of flat-headed, heathen piss-artists themselves, and Belgians cannot take the competition, BURP!

Germans, crossing the border for a good old piss-up, must not show any political symbols, right of left, because Belgians can't stand the competition, BURP! Their nation is so divided; French, Dutch and German speaking areas in their tiny country tend to be quite radical, nationalistic, and don't need drunken Germans telling them what to do, that was way back when between 1939 and 1945, BURP!

Brits, crossing the channel are most welcome because they booze the most, apart from Belgians, but are forbidden to wear footy replica shirts from any footy team, this could cause hooligan riots, and social distancing is impossible in such a riot. In addition, no flashing of Brit humungous beer-bellies to passing Belgian lassies, especially Newcastle fans, BURP!

Americans are not allowed to participate because the whole of Europe is sick to death of the word Trump, and Yanks can only take beer with 2.5% alcohol, cats-piss in other words, BURP!

All of Eastern Europe are heartily welcome because they'll drink the nation's beer stocks empty within a fortnight, and by that time Covid 19 will continue its dreadful journey to the Sahara, BURP! An area which Belgians hold dearly in their hearts because they once had colonies there and raped every natural resource possible, BURP!

So, Belgian beer-lovers, be quick, Polish and Russians are planning an invasion, BURP!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more