Minister for Clearing It All Up, Baroness Nora Clew, said, ”It’s perfectly simple. If only people would listen, but that’s the trouble, you see. They don’t.”
When asked who 'they' were she said, “Don’t talk to me about W.H.O. – the World Health Organisation. They’re mostly from other countries. Like all the rest of the world. Now, if we could only get the public to move.”
Coach company owner Mickey Quick-Buck, brother-in-law of the Baroness, has stepped in to help, and has offered to take the whole population on a mystery tour while the government sorts the country out. “I feel I’d be doing my bit. In used notes only,” he said.
A government spokesman added, but still couldn’t work out the change for the fish order.