Scientists in fictional hamlet Chutney on the Fritz have decided that, although there may be no party like an S Club Party, most parties are actually very similar.
Scientist Brick Roof told us: 'Yes, ever since the idea was posited to us, we have come to the conclusion that most parties are usually the same. It is a group of people causing trouble, drinking and eating too much, and then vomiting on the neighbour's lawn at 12.30 in the morning. A party is never a dignified meeting of minds. That is why you will never find me at one.'
He continued: 'If we actually look at the lyrics, verse 2 in this particular case, we find that we get:
Tina's doing her dance
Jon's looking for romance
Paul's getting down on the floor
While Hannah's screaming out for more (ooh-ooh)
Wanna see Bradley swing?
Wanna see Rachel do her thing?
Then we got Jo; she's got the flow,
Get ready, everybody,
'Cause here we go
No, I don't know who these young hooligans are, but they sound ghastly to me.'
Mr Roof has not left his science lab in seven years, and has forgotten that other people actually exist.