The Chutney on the Fritz Examiner today contained the happy news that local idiot Wayne Badger and Henrietta Finknottle will be getting married, after Wayne pointed out their distinctive style of spelling on dating website Firestarter.com. The non-ironic wearer of a mullet told us:
'Henrietta and I have so much in common, from the fact that we both spell the word "can't" with an R in it, to fashions from the 1980s, and a love of pike. Me for catching them, and her for seeing pictures of men holding them.'
The pair will be marrying in November, with Brian Asshat as the best man.
Henrietta told us: 'This will be one of the best weddings in the world. A bit like that one in Emmerdale. You know, that one with a Dingle.'