Pastry Chef's Daughter Secretly Yearns to Be Gluten-Free

Written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 10 May 2019

image for Pastry Chef's Daughter Secretly Yearns to Be Gluten-Free
Despite her illicit fling with buckwheat pancakes, Amanda Carlyle has vowed to stay true to her family's flour legacy.

Amanda Carlyle, eldest daughter of world-renowned pastry chef Leo Carlyle, recently revealed that even though finely ground white flour has been her family's bread and butter for generations, she secretly yearns to be gluten-free.

"I have these visions of whole, intact grains like millet and quinoa," confessed 22-year-old Amanda. "The kind of stuff my parents would never keep in the house."

She added, "I know it's an emotional betrayal of sorts, but I'm curious. Is that really so wrong?"

And not all her dreams of gluten-free whole grains have remained mere fantasies, Amanda admitted. Several months ago, during a weekend away with a friend, she allowed herself to be talked into trying buckwheat pancakes. "They were freaking amazing. So rugged and earthy and texturally complex." She sighed and shook her head. "But I'm not going to go there again. That would be like playing with fire."

And, so, despite her longing to continue to experience rough-around-the edges, uncompromisingly whole grains on a regular basis and go entirely gluten-free, Amanda has vowed to stay true to her family's refined wheat flour legacy. "I love my dad," she said. "I just couldn't do that to him."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more