BLM seen through the eyes of two 80-year-old biddies in a Doncaster boozer!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 23 June 2020

image for BLM seen through the eyes of two 80-year-old biddies in a Doncaster boozer!

Long-lost Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) coincidentally had one of its starving, scavenging, unemployed star reporters looking for bare morsels in a boozer in Doncaster, and overheard the following conversation. He sent it back to HQ, where the CEO was strung-out in cobwebs listening to a lullaby, after deciding to become non-active because of editorial differences of opinions.

However, this particular conversation just needed to be published, so here we go:

The main participants, Ethel and Mildred, were both wearing hairnets, and swallowing half-pints of bitter in a cosy corner of the Dragon's Head in Doncaster, UK.

Ethel: Mildred, what do you think of all this BLM stuff, dear?

Mildred: Oh, that British Louts Moaning thing? Ooh, it's terrible, ain't it?

Ethel: No, I mean that thing with black lives.

Mildred: Oh, that. I've heard they have rather big things.

Ethel: Oh, Mildred, you are naughty! Go and get me a half, and cool down, luv. By the way, I remember that Linford Christie with a huge bunch of grapes dangling, do you?

Mildred: Ethel, you are so naughty! No, I didn't see a thing, because I went to church that morning.

Ethel: Mildred, I did too, but I just couldn't help seeing them dangling, and it didn't matter, because my old man was on the sofa with a pint of best Yorkshire bitter and didn't see anything either, he swears.

Mildred: Well, that clears that one up then, doesn't it? By the way, the priest said high from his pulpit that The Grapes of Wrath are quite poignant, even today.

Ethel: Mildred, are you slightly tipsy? Burp.

Mildred: No, dear, but you are so naughty. By the way, when was the last time you did it?

Ethel: What?

Mildred: It

Ethel: Oh, that. Can't remember. The only thing moist coming out of there is a half-pint. Now get along; I'm thirsty, and I need to go to the hairdressers for a blue rinse.

Mildred: Ethel, dear, but does that really matter?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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