Dominic Cummings Fan Club On Brink Of Closure

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 16 June 2020

image for Dominic Cummings Fan Club On Brink Of Closure
Wearing spectacles in an effort to appear marginally less scary

There was bad news for Prime Minister Boris Johnson's chief advisor and political strategist, Dominic Cummings, last night, when figures released by the evil hatchet man's official fan club showed that its membership was at an all-time low.

Cummings had been hoping that, after he had become Britain's Public Enemy number one for breaking his own self-isolation rules imposed on the public due to the Coronavirus, his short time out of the spotlight would have swelled the number of his fans beyond its level pre-Covid-19.

But, clearly, his behaviour hit a raw nerve with the nation, and the issue went deeper than Mr. Cummings had ever imagined, as he is now even more unpopular than he has been since people first heard of the hideous Uncle Fester lookalike.

It's now thought that the fan club may have to be wound up.

Cummings, who lists his interests as Russia, Russian, Dostoyevsky, Bismarck and Oppression, created the fan club in a show of ultimate optimism after a long drinking session with the PM twelve months ago.

Mr. Johnson remains the only fully-paid-up member.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more