Man Claims He Has RSI As A Result Of Too Much Handwashing

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 29 May 2020

image for Man Claims He Has RSI As A Result Of Too Much Handwashing
Whilst 'handwashing' is hygienic, it can be jarring on the wrists

A man is trying to sue the government for damages after he alleged he was now suffering from Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) as a direct result of washing his hands so frequently in order to try to avoud becoming a victim of the Coronavirus.

Unemployed Todd Rundgreen, 38, lives with his mother in Skelmersdale, and has told members of his Legal Aid team that, due to the government's strict instructions on regular handwashing to prevent cross-infection of Covid-19, his fingers, hands and wrists now give him constant pain.

But, it's been counter-alleged that he is a ferocious masturbator.

Said Todd:

"Av bin washing me 'ands a lot, latherin' 'em with soap, scrubbin' me palms, rubbin' the backs of me 'ands, slidin' along the lengths of me fingers, just like the told us, but now me right wrist aches like fuck."

Todd's mum, Edna, 76, said:

"He'll never win that case against the government. He only needs to wash his hands so much due to the amount of four-knuckle shuffling he does."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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