Pensioner is NHS Party Pooper

Funny story written by Gerry Hatrick

Sunday, 12 April 2020

image for Pensioner is NHS Party Pooper
APRIL STOOL: OAP faces clear up operation

A RETIRED plumber from the Midlands has been arrested for defecating from his living room window.

Birmingham police reported that 62-year-old Ernie Butler opened his window one evening and, after positioning his naked nether regions over the sill, excreted into the street.

Mr Butler explained: “I was doing it for the nurses, but think I may have misheard the message about ‘clapping’ in celebration of the NHS.

“Frankly, I had my doubts. I thought it was an odd way to show our appreciation for all their work. But then I was speaking to my neighbour, who is from Ireland, and he confirmed Thursday was the turd night. Apparently, they’ve been doing this for two previous weeks, so I may have misunderstood his accent.

“It wasn’t easy. It took ages to wiggle my arse into position. And it’s difficult to do number twos right on the hour. I was a bit embarrassed, but when I heard everyone applauding my efforts, I felt it was worthwhile.”

The police have let Mr Butler off with a caution.

He said: “They just asked me to clear up the mess. As I live on the fourth floor of our flats, it’s going to take some time.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more