A RETIRED plumber from the Midlands has been arrested for defecating from his living room window.
Birmingham police reported that 62-year-old Ernie Butler opened his window one evening and, after positioning his naked nether regions over the sill, excreted into the street.
Mr Butler explained: “I was doing it for the nurses, but think I may have misheard the message about ‘clapping’ in celebration of the NHS.
“Frankly, I had my doubts. I thought it was an odd way to show our appreciation for all their work. But then I was speaking to my neighbour, who is from Ireland, and he confirmed Thursday was the turd night. Apparently, they’ve been doing this for two previous weeks, so I may have misunderstood his accent.
“It wasn’t easy. It took ages to wiggle my arse into position. And it’s difficult to do number twos right on the hour. I was a bit embarrassed, but when I heard everyone applauding my efforts, I felt it was worthwhile.”
The police have let Mr Butler off with a caution.
He said: “They just asked me to clear up the mess. As I live on the fourth floor of our flats, it’s going to take some time.”