Attenborough TV Extinction Alert

Written by Gerry Hatrick

Wednesday, 8 April 2020

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ATTENBOROUGH: Dinosaur danger

Naturalists are warning that, unless society changes its ways, Sir David Attenborough could become extinct on our TV screens within a year.

The alert was sounded after scientists based in Antarctica monitored rapidly diminishing levels of the revered broadcaster on British TV over the spring

Leading the Antarctic mission, Professor Emile Bertrand said: "We had seen healthy quantities of Attenborough on all channels almost every day throughout the winter, but it seems demand for programmes about coronavirus has pushed him down to dangerous levels."

Programmes such as Round Planet, Planet Round and The Circular World had made the natural historian globally famous over a 70-year career in broadcasting. And his message in recent documentaries had become a stark warning about conservation.

A spokesman for campaigning group AER - Attenborough Extension Rebellion - said: "This is exactly what happened to the dinosaurs."

"They stopped going to the pub, hoarded toilet paper, and started doing rubbish DIY jobs around the house. We need to get Attenborough back on our screens to stop this madness."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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