Idiot spending an hour washing his hands every day

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Wednesday, 25 March 2020

image for Idiot spending an hour washing his hands every day
See, I am completely in control.

Idiot, Wayne Hemmings, from charming village Mithering on the Trent, spends the first hour of every day washing his hands.

'The way I see it,' said the blithely-ignorant muppet, 'if I spend the time I am meant to be washing my hands and do it all at once, I save a lot of time, effort and water.'

He told us this while scratching his nose. Taking out last week's tissue from his unwashed trousers, he continued: 'I am doing what is asked of me.'

His son, Hetherington, said: 'My dad is always like this. He once ate all of the butter he thought would last a year in one day. He is right, it saves time, but he is a walking health-risk, for everyone. Don't even ask him about the Rolex he bought. He's an idiot. I never really knew where I got my brains from, at times'.

Hetherington is an idiot as well, just not as much of one as his dad.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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