The Morris dancers of Chutney on the Fritz are, not for the first time, feeling slightly down about the world in general.
Sprightly leader, Pete 'The Man' Smith, said, 'With Coronavirus now hitting all of the Summer Festivals that we usually invite ourselves to dance at, being cancelled left, right, and centre, how are we meant to spend our time? We can't go out and show all of the ladies our moves now, can we?'
Fellow shaker of bells and banger of sticks, Jimmy 'The Stick' Malone, continued: 'The lads hate each other, so going out together, and venting frustration at each other, is a perfect way to spend a weekend. If all of these twee festivals stop, and we can't go under the pretence of it being 'traditional', what can we do? Are you suggesting we spend the weekends with our wives and partners?'
No, we are not suggesting that, at all. Have you seen what the average morris dancer looks like these days?