Brian Asshat, a 64-year-old thrower of shoes, is spending his time in self-isolation filling in online petitions.
The lonely old man said, 'I have an underlying condition, so I have been told to remain at home, and I have a lot of things to do on the computer. These online petitions do not fill themselves in, you know, and I think that they make a lot of difference to the world'.
He continued, after throwing a shoe at a bird in his tree, 'And I need to go on the internet forums, and tell people my opinions about things that don't really matter at all.'
