Prince Charles, the spooky heir to the UK-based throne formerly called Charlie Battenburg-Hohernzollern, has had the cheek to call on the brilliant real Prince to stop using his name. Prince, the artist formerly known as the diminutive genius, performed outstandingly for over a minute during Superbowl. His purple highness wasn't available for comment last night, but we spoke to him this morning, and he told Prince Charles to back off.
'There's no way, man. I'm Prince through and through, and no half wit royal is gonna take my name.'
Prince, who probably missed out on Band Aid because of a crossed line, doesn't regret having changed his name, and then changing it back again.
He made this emotional appeal on behalf of thousands of former stars everywhere before breaking down in tears.
'There's plenty of them out there, man. When I see the look on their little faces....'
Puffed-up waste of space, Prince Charles, who makes a great deal of money, often puts his foot in it with badly timed comments on stars when they're on the up and no one wants to hear a bad thing about them.
If you know of any former stars in need, email The Spoof, and we'll send a hack round straightaway. They may qualify for Prince's appeal charity fund, Not So Rich Any More.