Big Turd Spotted In Barmston Drain

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 6 December 2019

image for Big Turd Spotted In Barmston Drain
A more picturesque part of the drain, where the turd was not spotted

Police and council officials were called to a city drain this morning, after a giant turd was spotted bobbing up and down, by a man walking his dog on the public footpath adjoining the waterway.

The incident took place in Hull in East Yorkshire, when officers of Humberside Police were summoned to Barmston Drain, which runs between the city and the minster town of Beverley.

It's not the first time the police have had to attend the site. Barmston Drain has been associated with frequent sightings of a mythical 'wild beast' - an 8-feet tall werewolf - which has terrorised local residents, for hundreds of years.

Nobody, however, has been able to catch the beast, nicknamed "Old Stinker".

The dogwalker said:

"I glanced towards the drain and saw this ugly brown thing, bobbing up and down as if it meant me harm. The dog was yelping like it had seen something supernatural. We got out of there as sharpish."

A police spokesman said:

"We've spoken to locals, and posted a warning notice for folks to be aware of a possible nuisance. To avoid people getting overly-worried, however, we've avoided using the name "Old Stinker", and used "Les" instead, after the bloke that saw it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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