Gary Johnson, a 48-year-old from Chutney on The Fritz, has signed up to Nanowrimo for the seventh time, and is yet to even think about his novel.
Chutney on the Fritz is a well-known bed of intrigue, bed-hopping and strange people at the library, so Johnson thinks that this year might be the year he completes his 50,000-word epic.
'My old mate, Brian Asshat, is always telling us about the exciting things that are happening in the village, so I thought I would write a thriller about the Vanilla Slices that Mable sells at the cafe, and how they lead to a ring of power that could bring down the government'.
Brian Asshat, a local man of little repute, said 'I look forward to reading Gary's epic, but only to point out the plot holes, and the atrocious grammar. Honestly, if you are not EL James, you have no right to call yourself a writer.'