Brian Asshat, a 63-year-old grammar nazi and part-time train spotter, wants to leave his job, but wants to do it the Brexit way.
'I was watching the news, and I thought about what would happen if I played my departure like Brexit. I will leave. I know that more than 80% of my colleagues will support me in this, but it will be under my conditions, and at my own speed.'
Colleague, Wayne Smythe, said: 'It is great that Brian is leaving, but he will still be here, three more bosses later when he is in his eighties. I tried this with Sara, my girlfriend, but she kicked me out, and is now having a business relationship with Tim in Accounts. If Brexit is not working on a national scale, it won't work on the macro scale.'