Harry Maguire to Retire; Will Explain Decision Tonight

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Monday, 23 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire to Retire; Will Explain Decision Tonight
Night-night, Harry. See you in the morning.

Manchester, UK - The Spoof News Service. European football's greatest player ever tweeted today that he will publicly announce at 8 pm local time tonight, that he will retire.

The stunned world of soccer is abuzz with rumors trying to explain why the game's most famed star, only 26, would retire so early, but there is no logical explanation.

The Spoof has obtained an advance copy of Maguire's statement regarding retiring. Dressed in designer pajamas and standing before the television cameras, he will simply say: "I'm sleepy and there's a game tomorrow, so it's time to retire", as he toddles off to bed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more