Steven The Blind Hedgehog Is Safe And Well, And Planning For The Future

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 23 August 2019

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Steven: back home in Scunthorpe today

He was lost last week feared dead, but Steven the blind hedgehog turned up safe and well yesterday, and held a press conference earlier to outline his future plans.

Steven, who lives with a strange bloke in Scunthorpe, was taken to Leeds in a van for a day out, but when the van was stolen, Steven's owner thought he had seen the last of his prickly pet.

But all was not lost.

Steven was found by an alert dogwalker, who remembered hearing of the 'hognap' on TV. He was reunited with his owner yesterday.

Steven told reporters:

"It was a bit scary at first, but the robbers treated me well, and I was not harmed. Then they let me go. It was quite exciting, really!"

And what's next for the enterprising blind hedgehog?

"I'm going to rest up for a bit. I'll take it nice and slow, go for some long walks - probably after dark - have a root around in the bushes, roll into a ball now and then, and just wait and see what happens."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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