Tory leadership candidate drops his pants during debate

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Thursday, 20 June 2019

image for Tory leadership candidate drops his pants during debate
Beth Spankmequickly prepares to question Tory leadership candidates

Controversial Tory leadership candidate William Anchor stunned viewers yesterday when he suddenly dropped his pants during a BBC live television debate.

Host, Beth Spankmequickly ignored the stunt, politely asking bookies’ favourite Chuck Karloff if he agreed that he is a turd totally unfit to be let onto the street leave alone prime minister of Great Britain. The five other candidates pretended not to notice the shameful publicity stunt until former health minister Sean Shoutsalot cried “He’s going Commando style”, at which point all eyes turned to Mr Anchor’s little pink tackle, before he hastily pulled up his trousers, muttering “mistake, mistake”.

The candidate claimed to political commentator Ian Boltoff that his denims “just slipped” and it was a “freak accident” but stage manager Gerry Bossy revealed that while all other candidates asked for a cup of coffee before the debate, Mr Anchor requested a cup of tea. “It was as if the evil Tory scum was planning something in advance.”

Meanwhile, the BBC hit back at allegations of bias after allowing notorious Islamist Hamza Hatesyourguts to personally interrogate each candidate about their views on Israel, saying “Mr Hatesyourguts is a private citizen and his abhorrent racist views are not shared by the BBC, so we will continue to allow him and his friends unfettered access to our audiences”.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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