Extreme Brexit a Micro Nationalist Dream

Written by C/L

Monday, 22 April 2019

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Extreme Brexit from Britain - NOW!

It's been speculated that vast numbers of conservatives in Britain will be flocking to Nigel Farrage's Brexit Party.

Some are even planning to take the campaign a step further by Brexiting all of Great Britain itself.

I met up with a daft-shit, and Brexit sympathizer, Newt Barrage. He is an adamant micro-nationalist who thinks that the Brexit plan just needs to be taken to its extreme conclusion, "Brits Brexiting Britain and establishing their own micro-nations."

"After my parents threw me out of my house, I took my modest allowance which I receive from a trust fund created by my grandparents, and bought a mini house on one acre in the countryside.''

"That's when I decided that not only would I be a proponent of Brexit but that I would create an affiliate movement, "Extreme Brexit from Britain."

Barrage established his own authoritarian micro-nation, complete with air-soft automatic weapons, military fatigues, self-styled dictator's uniform, and flag.

"Through micro-nationalism, people can live by their own rules. We can ignore other Brits who are "diverse'', and don't fit into our idea of other Brits," Barrage stated.

"Terms of trade between micro-nations can be negotiated, taxes collected or not, and we can levy tariffs on people who we really fucking hate."

"People can pretend Britain is just a huge land mass that contains a million little micro-nations. We can let our bat-shit-crazy flags fly!"

"When I'm in public I often place my hands over my ears and ignore well adjusted people who I don't want to acknowledge, all the while uttering la, la, la, la, la."

Most people admit micro-nationalism is just a cloaked authoritarian desire to be hyper-bigoted and ignorant, while dreaming about solving every problem with slow motion, Hollywood style violence.

Barrage believes that this is a great beginning for a Brexit from Britain. Yet it could be that there are still enough normal Brits to keep Barrage's wacky dream, and sane Britain's nightmare, from happening.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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