Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 4 April 2019

image for Police Squad Trucks To 'Take Out' Vehicles Whose Drivers Are On Their Mobile Phones
Get off your phone, or die!

The UK High Commissioner of Police has spoken to reporters about a new initiative that will, hopefully, clean-up Britain's roads, and wipe out drivers who use their mobile phones whilst behind the wheel.

Eric Rambo told journalists that years' of attempting to educate people about the dangers of talking or texting whilst driving had fallen on deaf ears, and the time had now come to act decisively.

"We're as sick as fuck, to be honest," he said, laughing. "Some people just have to be shown the way."

A new fleet of vehicles has been launched from the MonsterTruck range, complete with armour-plated bodywork, and rocket launchers. They will also have those scythe-type blades sticking out of the wheels to rip the offender's tyres to pieces, as seen so often in James Bond movies. Their top speeds are anything up to 160mph.

Police drivers are currently being trained to to handle the trucks, so that those fuckwits who constantly flaunt driving rules can be eradicated from the roads as soon as is possible.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more