Police Still Searching For 35-Year-Old Powerlifter

Funny story written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 23 March 2019


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Police Still Searching For 35-Year-Old Powerlifter

Midwest. Local police and authorities in Apple County, Wisconsin are still searching for 35-year-old powerlifter, Mike Lane, who was reported as "missing" earlier this month.

On Tuesday, March 5th, the 6-foot tall, 285-pound, 'ripped' weightlifter (and former 'golden gloves' boxer) was seen wandering the streets of Sherryville completely by himself.

32-year-old Lisa Clemens, who sincerely asked that her identity be kept a secret, claims that she saw a muscle-bound individual walk past her house at 427 Main Street around 3:05 pm.

Feeling unconcerned at that point, the single, 'five-foot three' Ms. Clemens then took her clothes off, stepped into the shower next to the living room on the main level of her home, and let hot water run through her long-flowing brown hair as well as pour all over her naked, gorgeous body.

After letting soap suds run down her erect nipples and firm, steamy thighs, Lisa put a towel on at 3:30 pm before she looked out her window and saw three school buses go by.

Still unconcerned at that point, the towel that was covering her extremely voluptuous figure accidentally fell off, completely exposing her heavenly, gigantic breasts and perfectly formed hips.

When she put the towel back on at 3:31 pm, Lisa then saw a group of old women walk by, which prompted her to feel somewhat concerned about the powerfully-built man she had seen earlier.

Fearing that he may have been laughed at by school children or perhaps even nagged to death by the old women she had seen, Lisa immediately grabbed her land-line phone and accidentally called her own cell number, (012) 345-6789, several times before she was finally able to reach the police department.

Mike Lane, who recently hurled a man through a plate glass window at a local bar, is missed by his concerned parents, Robert and Susan Lane, who just want to know what happened to their short-tempered, massive son who destroyed a competitor's tendons at an arm-wrestling competition in California last January.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more