Murder Mystery In Country House Has Police Baffled

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 27 April 2019

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Where's Columbo when you need him?

A murder mystery at a sprawling country mansion has left police completely baffled, and desperately trying to find clues as to what happened and why.

The murder took place at Tudor Mansion, deep in the Hampshire countryside, and detectives drafted in from all over Britain have been swarming all over the house and grounds since the body was discovered.

The victim, a Dr. Black - labelled by the police as 'Mr. Boddy' - was found murdered in the cellar of the mansion, but circumstances have led the police to think that the murder may have taken place elsewhere on the property.

Various guests are known to have been present at the time, and several weapons were found at the scene, though the murder weapon has not yet been identified. They are a revolver, a dagger, a candlestick, a spanner, a piece of lead piping, and a length of rope.

The house is huge. Its ground floor, alone, consists of a dining room, lounge, kitchen, study, hall, ballroom, conservatory, library, and billiard room, and, of course, the cellar. The murder could have occurred anywhere, and the detectives are scurrying about from room to room, with their magnifying glasses, asking lots of questions, and eliminating suspects as they go.

Miss Scarlett (red) is a prime suspect, as is another one of the doctor's frequent 'patients', Mrs. Peacock (blue). Mrs. White doesn't seem to have a bad bone in her body, but the police are never surprised when someone 'nice' turns out to be the perpetrator.

Professor Plum (purple) was often at loggerheads with the doctor, as was Colonel Mustard (yellow), and the only person that appears to be completely above suspicion, is the very reverend Reverend Green, which probably means he did it.

In the Ballroom, with the lead piping.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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