Ice Cream Man Had Murder In His Eyes

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 8 April 2019

image for Ice Cream Man Had Murder In His Eyes
Mr. Whippy, it was not

We've all had the pleasure of enjoying a warm summer afternoon in the garden, with the sounds of happy children laughing and playing, when, all of a sudden, the jingle-jangle sound of the ice cream van announces its arrival.

And so it was in one small rural town on Sunday, but with one major difference.

The ice cream van turned up at about 4pm, to the delight of the neighborhood children, who quickly surrounded it, vying for position.

Something was amiss, though.

As the assistant took the excited customers' orders at the back of the ice cream van, its driver rested his head on the van's window frame, and stared, expressionless, and in a sinister fashion, at a group of people sat by the roadside, nearby.

He had murder in his eyes.

Amongst the roadside group were several foreigners, a mini-expat community, partaking in everyday chit-chat, and the driver focused his gaze intently on them without moving, for the time it took to serve twelve ice creams.

One man in the group, Hans - a German -

"Look! That man is staring at us."

Five pairs of eyes looked towards the driver. His pose never shifted, and he continued to stare.

Somebody asked:

"Does anybody remember that scene in 'Deliverance'?"

Somebody else laughed nervously.

Eventually, all the children had their ice creams, and were consuming them. The driver put the van into gear, and it slowly moved off.

When it had covered a short distance, the driver half-turned, and took one last, lingering look at the foreigners, and then disappeared around a corner.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more