Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 15 April 2019

image for Britain's Got Violent
Violence

An exciting new TV show is being lined-up for an autumn release in a similar format to 'Britain's Got Talent', but with British street violence as its theme.

'Britain's Got Violent' will demonstrate the way in which life on Britain's streets has become rather more dangerous than it used to be, with even minor altercations resulting in the most frightening, horrific and blood-soaked circumstances.

It will showcase some of Britain's most violent, warped, bloodthirsty people, and provide them with a platform on which to publicise their unique talents.

Viewers will see how even the most nondescript locations and idyllic settings can be the scenes of the most terrifying acts.

The show with its panel of three judges, Ross Kemp, Danny Dyer, and Simon Cowell, will feature contestants from all over the British Isles. Some of the violence will be 'live' in the studio in front of a horrified audience, whilst the rest, from mobile phone footage and police videos, will be displayed on a large screen.

Reasoning that the extreme violence is now an everyday occurrence, and that much of it is carried out by children, the producers are aiming for a prime time slot of Saturday tea-time, rather than waiting until after the archaic, and now almost-pointless, 9pm watershed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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