US military releases aliens in Mexico

Funny story written by Dracula

Monday, 11 February 2019

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The alien species from another Galaxy.

The US military reanimates two aliens with help from DARPA and their military project. The aliens were released in Jalisco, Mexico as part of an experiment.

DARPA is an acronym for Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency. It's an agency of the United States Department of Defense, responsible for the development of emerging technologies for use by the military.

The alien project began when DARPA scientists discovered repeated radio signals coming from an unknown Galaxy 1.5 billion light years away, using a Hydrogen Intensity Mapping Experiment.

During the program, DARPA scientists sent out transmissions in the direction of the repeated signals, asking if the signals were from an alien race in hopes of finding life beyond planet Earth. They then received transmissions from an alien source on how to reanimate their species using an alien DNA code, along with instructions on how to create technologies to organize the DNA map. A government team led by the US military went forward with the genetic experiment, attempting to produce a female alien by inserting the code into an ostrich egg, with the assumption that a female would have more docile traits. What came out of the egg was a bizarre-looking creature with an IQ of 600,000. The female used telepathy to inform the scientists that she would reanimate the male of her species.

The US military decided to transport the aliens to Jalisco, Mexico, after discovering that the aliens liked to eat human cadavers that were offered to them.

The military research team was told by the alien species that they can only digest proteins, minerals and water.

When a live cow was offered to them, military scientists observed the aliens release a tranquilizing gas through their pores. After the cow went to sleep, they inserted a proboscis tube into its jugular vein, at which time, they drained the cow of blood. Afterwards, a long snake-like tube came out of their mouths, and the tube's then entered the nose of the cow, penetrating through the nasal passage, and entering the brain cavity, where they released digestive enzymes that liquefied the brain, making it easier for the alien's to suck out the brain matter like a smoothie drink. The flesh and bones were softened with digestive enzymes, and masticated into a pulp that was slurped into their stomachs.

They slowly reached a size of three feet tall and are in good health.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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