Written by Matt Linehan

Thursday, 4 January 2007

image for Blair Responds to Tosser Verdict
Come and Have a Go ...

Tony Blair returned early from his break to make a formal response to the findings of the Tosser Report.

The Prime Minister appeared outside Number 10 this morning looking tired and ruffled and had clearly been involved in a scuffle or some kind of assault.

Downing Street was packed with journalists as injured Blair made what seemed to be a prepared statement. Shamefully, the entire speech was marred by journalists pretending to cough loudly followed by a mumbled "tosser" whilst others stifled smirks.

Blair continued with dignity and managed to get through the entire statement without distraction, only stopping to wipe a trickle of blood from his lip.

Blair was joined at the end of his speech by creepy Gordon Brown who seemed to want to stand by his old friend. Brown expressed his solidarity by firmly placing his hand on Blair's back and eerily invading his personal space.

The Prime Minister made it clear that he was not willing to change his ways to accommodate others. He talked tough as he addressed his critics

"Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough. You've talked the talk now come and walk the walk - I'll take you apart you f*****s."

He refused to take any questions and returned to number ten shortly after finishing his statement.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Tony Blair




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