Tampax, Florida - (Rioters): The pilot at the controls of a BA jumbo carrying UK Prime Monster Tony Blair and his family to their winter holiday break at Robin Gibbs's house on Tampax Beach has said he completely missed the runway exit on landing because of subliminal messages on the Bee Gees song 'Massachusetts' which were being piped over the plane's muzac system.
The Florida National Guard was called out for the runway fracas as the aircraft smashed its way through the landing lights and ended up in the airport's Warren Buffet zone, just as the fabled lyrics croaked their way into the passenger cabins:
'Feel I'm goin back to Massachusetts, something's telling me I must go home.... and the lights all went out in Massachusetts, and Massachusetts is one place I have seen....'
Nobody was hurt in the incident but the FBI began an immediate enquiry about just what the hell Blair was doing in the Sunshine State after reports that he had been barred from his usual December Dead Sea holiday destination of Shitt el-Arab and forced to solicit an immediate covert meeting with former Florida Governor Jeb Bush.
In London Downing Street press officers were at a loss to explain why the PM chose to inveigl himself on yet another ageing old has-been rocker's holiday home and were at pains to distance themselves from stories that cash-strapped Cliff Richards was no longer welcoming the Blairs in Barbados after a spectacular series of cocaine busts by the Royal Navy in the Carribean waters this year.
Weather reports for the Tampax holiday area are saying conditions may become increasingly frosty with the approach of New Year's Eve.
