Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 24 October 2018

image for Lorry Driver Picked Up Female Hitch-Hiker With The Sole Intention Of 'Getting Her To Her Destination'
I'd give her a lift!

In what's becoming the mosy widely-shared internet news item since Tuesday, a long-distance lorry driver who stopped to pick up a young woman hitching a lift near a motorway junction, has told how the only thought in his mind was how to get the 'damsel in distress' to her desired destination.

Eric Creep, 48, encountered the hiker, blond Trixie Boxx, 18, at J29, north of Manchester on Tuesday just after 7pm. She was heading for Birmingham, after having had a huge argument with her boyfriend, who, she told Eric, was now her ex-boyfriend. She had a large bag, and looked like she'd dressed in a hurry. He ascertained this from the sight of her breasts hanging prettily underneath her slash-cut T-shirt that contained the inviting message: "I SWALLOW".

Said Creep:

"I know what it looks like! People will say I was imagining myself in some kind of lay-by frolic with this stunning young lady, but nothing could be further from the truth. She'd had a terrible row with her ex-boyfriend, and I just happened to be driving by. I saw my chance to be of assistance to her."

Boxx was clearly upset, and asked her 'knight in shining armor' if he could just pull off the motorway for a few minutes, as she felt 'queasy'. When he did, she became emotional, and had to cry on Creep's shoulder. The lorry driver began to feel a stirring in his crotch. He said:

"I began to feel a stirring in my crotch, and then there was a bulge. She must've noticed, because she put her hand on my leg, then unzipped my fly


(continued on page 404)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Sex




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
47 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more