Written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Thursday, 2 August 2018

image for Jews Confirm Anti-Semites Are Anyone Calling Them Jews

Prominent Jews have today clarified what exactly constitutes anti-Semitism following the controversy currently engulfing the Labour Party.

Leader Jeremy Corbyn, of tolerance, tea-drinking and hummus-making fame, is facing criticism for being a massive racist by a woman heavily disguised by make up, ironically masking her own ethnicity, known as Margaret Hodge. Cleverly, she is not herself a Jew but shock horror, pull my pants down and call me Brenda, she is from a Jewish background and family.

Ezra Cohen of the Jews Against Others Calling Us Jews pressure group, said "Basically, people who refer to us by that awful term are being really offensive. Sure, it's commonly accepted, widely held, historically established and a totally accurate term for what we are, but it's still really insulting when used by a person I decide I don't like."

"Yes, people will use it innocently to describe, but when undesirable folk use it in a rant against us, it is nasty and derogatory and it's totally not fair, like, at all, you know?"

It was put to him that maybe it was still descriptive despite it being within a hateful monologue, like when I say "TRUMPET!" in a shouty voice, it sounds quite hostile, but when I say "trumpet" in a gentler tone, it sounds less aggressive, but that isn't the word 'trumpet's' fault, it's my human voice's fault.

"No, it is, definitely is, always thought that about trumpet, you're wrong, we're right,"he replied.

When quizzed as to why they weren't being anti-Semitic given they refer to themselves as Jews, he replied "now come on, that's very childish and doesn't make much sense. Also, you're clearly being anti-Semitic. Shame on you."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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