Written by Jaki Treehorn

Friday, 1 June 2018

image for Jordan Peterson Suggests Lobotomies are a Good Cure for Liberalism
Dr. Jordan Peterson Lectures Audiences in the U.S.

Toronto, Canada - College Professor and leading conservative author Jordan Peterson, on a speaking tour in the United States, expounded upon his previously held belief that those who differ politically with himself and his alt-right followers must be suffering from a mental disorder.

"I discovered in my studies that liberalism and thus all of those left of center politically are associated with negative human behaviors", explained Peterson who has a doctorate in Psychology. "These behaviors include self entitlement, intolerance, laziness, dementia, sexual depravity, and sociopathy. Those without the disease of liberalism recognized my work, to my surprise, as I am always quite modest about these discoveries, and always open to debate”.

"We originally thought that reasoning with individuals who suffer from this affliction, through purchase of my lectures and tapes, which I humbly offer at a price of less than a thousand dollars, would cure this affliction, but we surprisingly found that those participating in my program were not reaching the leftists. Therefore, with full knowledge that critical thinking is controlled by the frontal lobe of the brain, I believe the only way to reach those who inexplicably differ from my correct conservatism might be arranging mass lobotomies for those individuals".

The mostly alt-right attendees at the lecture were pleased at Peterson's comments. “We can’t live with intolerant libtards, this is the best solution”, one commented.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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