Prime Minister, Theresa May, has now appointed Britian's first ever Minister for Fashion. Former Lord Chancellor and Brexit architect, Michael Gove, began work yesterday in his new offices just off Carnaby Street.
"Couldn't be a better location", laughed Gove. "It's good to be back in the closet,..sorry...cabinet." Sporting red leather loafers, loose-fitting jodhpurs and a yellow and green striped waistcoat with a navy blue downturn collar shirt, Gove looked the part.
"After Brexit we all need a new start, style is the way out of our crisis, our gloom. We want a Britain that's not just out of Europe, but out of this world. Whether haut couture or pret-a-porter, we'll support all designers and start-up boutiques. And our Parliament will be leading the way.
Theresa has promised to not only maintain her outlandish style of footwear, but will be wearing a bubble skirt and Mary Janes at the next Prime Ministers Question Time. And not to be outdone, Jeremy Corbyn has promised to wear a kaftan...he loves loose apparel.
I mean, look at Europe. Boring, boring, boring. Suits and nothing else, even Angela Merkel....
Our female parliamentarians will in future be requested to wear polka dot jupes or red high waist flaired tutu skirts, that'll brighten things up. Boris Johnson will shortly be seen in a muscle fit bomber jacket while most Liberal Democrats have gone for jumpers in chunky neck trim. OK, I can live with that.."
Gove's department is a pilot project. It comprises Gove himself, a seamstress from Kettering and a retired tailor. "Let's get ready to stitch," screamed Gove pulling up his Argyle socks. "Yes, we've still got to work on our socks", he acknowledged.