The UK Government have opened a Covid-19 complaint line. Harry Enfield lookalike, Michael Gove, told us, "What, with all the to-ing and fro-ing about whether we're locked down or up ... and whether we can drive blind or not ... we recognise that t…
Professional liar and part time politician, Michael Gove, has stated that “schools are perfectly safe to reopen”, then immediately said “the only way to be safe from the virus is to stay at home”. Which is going to be difficult if the government are...
So what we thought was quarantine, was, in fact, house arrest, but that little tag on our ankle hasn't stopped the UK's most feared news team from sniffing out the truth. So here is the truth. Loyal Conservative flesh bag, Michael Gove, came ou...
As Boris Johnson attempts to shake off the challenges of his fellow Tory MPs, Jeremy Hunt, and Michael Gove, news has emerged from 10 Downing Street that the winner from the 'final three' will be decided by the nation in a Strictly Come Dancing dance...
Charles Manson, who died in 2017, having spent 45 years in prison for, amongst other things, 7 counts of first-degree murder, and one of conspiracy to murder, but who always denied having committed the acts, has finally come clean through his ghost,...
Embattled Prime Minister, Teresa May, has claimed she has "the full support of the cabinet" and the table and dining room chairs we guess. Mrs May, who was sat on what looked like a tub of vipers, said: "The country needs calm leadership and t...
Having received dozens of emails over the last few weeks (most asking us if we have any intention of paying the legal costs to a law suit) asking if we understand this whole "fake news" thing. Don't worry fair readers we do. So here is a quick li...
After almost a year in exile on the back benches, faeces-covered slime monster Michael Gove has returned to a UK government position. He was fired from the cabinet last year for attempting to osmose Boris Johnson. When asked how he had spent the last...
Prime Minister, Theresa May, has now appointed Britian's first ever Minister for Fashion. Former Lord Chancellor and Brexit architect, Michael Gove, began work yesterday in his new offices just off Carnaby Street. "Couldn't be a better location",...
Michael Gove, the former Secretary of State for Justice, stunned Britain today when he revealed at a press conference the true reason why he had ceased to endorse Boris Johnson as a candidate for British Prime Minister. 'The truth is,' admitted a...
In a move which has wrong footed many of his colleagues and former friends, the Justice Secretary is now the bookies favourite to replace Chris Evans as the presenter of the hit BBC show 'Top Gear'. Following the shock resignation of Chris Evans,...
Conservative leader David Cameron announced in a press conference on Saturday at number 10 that his introduction of several new female ministers was done with the sole intention of getting former minister for schools Michael Gove laid. Addressing...
Ready for anything minister, Liz Rupture has said she can make a much better job of dealing with floods, horsemeat in burgers, badger issues, tsunamis, volcanoes, meteors, earthquakes and students than her sacked predecessor. "also after working for...
Michael (God) Guv has been removed from the mayhem his abrupt confrontational style has caused, in order that the Prime Minister can start talking meaningfully with the country's teachers, education bosses and headmasters again. Crying in the stre...
The Prime Minister told a meeting of the N.U.T. this morning that approval had been given in principle for unannounced spot checks on the efficiency and sanity of Michael Gove. The checks by will be carried out by approved psychologists and Head Teac...
The much feared and regularly used Trojan virus has almost turned the peotle of brittle into jabbering rex. They are almost ruined! The virus, which originated from the bowels of Sir Daleks Ferguson's corrupted memory system, was at first only intended for his Manchester United successor David Moyes, but it has spun wildly out of control, right across the country, like a wildfire! Its next...
Every school library in the country is currently being torn to shreds and replaced with thousands of Amazon Kindles that can only access books written by British authors. The wet dream of both Amazon and Michael Gove has become a reality as workme...
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