Written by Jack Bromby

Monday, 14 December 2015

Santa Claus has been detained after flying his sleigh under the influence, it has been reported.

Claus, aged 1,744, from the North Pole, was intercepted by American jets and forced to land at Thule Air Base in the Qaasuitsup region of Northern Greenland on 10th November after flying his sleigh in irregular patterns.

He had no passengers or presents on board and was only carrying out a routine test flight in preparation for Christmas Eve.

Mr Claus has been detained at Thule Air Base in Qaanaaq, Greenland and is expected to be charged for operating an aircraft under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

If convicted, Mr Claus faces up to 1 month in jail, a fine of up to 200 Danish Krone and a 5 year flying ban, meaning Christmas could be cancelled for the duration of his ban.

It has already been confirmed that Christmas will be cancelled this year as Mr Claus will have to remain in Greenland as he is considered a flight risk by the Greenlandic and Danish authorities.

As a result the only people who will be receiving Christmas presents this year are the personnel stationed at Thule Air Base and the 650 odd people who live in the town of Qaanaaq.

Ross Tyson, the Commander at Thule Air Base told us: "On the 10th November we intercepted a red sleigh flying in irregular patterns over restricted air space. When the sleigh landed we found the pilot to be drunk on Egg Nog with Vodka added in."

"He was detained at the base and will be turned over to Greenlandic authorities, where he will face criminal charges in Nuuk."

It is known that the Easter Bunny has offered to take over Christmas this year, however as he is not insured to fly Mr Claus' sleigh, it has been confirmed that the holiday will have to be cancelled.

Mr Claus' licence has been suspended by the Federal Aviation Authority while an investigation is carried out and criminal proceedings take place.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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