Six-year-old Nosy Nora, who plans to be a lawyer when she grows up, was shocked to witness the inappropriate display of affection from her perch on the stairs. She grabbed her iPhone and took a photo, so she could preserve the actions of the sneaky duo for posterity and possibly for the divorce court.
He'll argue he had to do it, they were under the mistletoe. Fughedaboutit! That's no excuse.
How dare Santa take advantage of her poor innocent mother! Why the heck didn't he just take the cookies she had set out for him, instead of taking other liberties as well? An outrage!
As Nora crept back up the stairs, she plotted a course of action. She'd wait a few days to tell the world what she had witnessed. She had spied under the Christmas tree that skateboard she had asked Santa for, and she didn't want to risk his grabbing it back. He was a lowlife, but at least he was a lowlife who had come bearing gifts.
Nora only hoped celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred would be available to take on the case. She'd have Santa quaking in his big black boots.