Written by StubbornGorilla

Monday, 14 December 2015

image for Airline Pilots Complain that Christmas Laser Light Displays are "Interrupting our beauty naps."
"Santa can handle it without a cockpit you sissies!"

Complaints by airline pilots concerning the recent Star Shower laser Christmas lights decorations are on the rise. Many of the pilots site the ability of the lights to shine into the cockpit during cruising altitudes, which can be disruptive to their usual routine.

"I can't sleep when one of those stupid lights shines into the cockpit," an anonymous pilot said, exasperated. "I can see it through my eyelids, so it's not just a matter of being able to fall asleep."

When asked why they might be sleeping while the plane is in the air, the pilot explained, "aside from take off and landing airplane flight is pretty much automated. It just makes good sense to rest up between the real work while the robots and computers are doing all of the heavy lifting. Besides, me and the copilot take turns keeping an "eye out" just in case something goes wrong."

The pilot also admitted that it "could be a distraction during takeoff and landing" but no more so than "those damn stupid drones flying all over the place."

Asked if he thought it was a real safety issue he stated, "For sure! If one of those things catches me the right way it could startle me, and make me hit something when I wake up."

The pilot went on to say, "The only thing that will be worse is when some moron decides to put a stupid laser pointer on a stupid drone. At that point, its pretty much going to be "game over, man."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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