London - The Queen is not amused to learn that dozens of her slave labor peons have legged it to Syria where the Islamic State national minimum weekly wage is two Kalashnikovs and five hundred squid.
It means there is no longer anybody available to dust the priceless royal collection of imperial toenail clippings, a position that pays £45 ($70) per week.
Nor is anyone servicing Buckingham Palace's composting toilets, installed in 1857 by extremist eco-nuts opposed to Prime Minister Gladstone's penurious Lavatory Paper Tax Act.
Ditto the Royal Memorabilia Collection of House of Windsor Bankruptcy Orders which shields the late Queen Mother's gambling and pornography debts,
Commenting on the spate of turncoats who have eschewed a life of service to HM the Queen a Palace spokesperson blamed bad karma going back to to Nazis.
"Fucked if I know why they do it," Lord Luce-Cannon said today.
Prince Philip's former batman is confined to barracks with a dose of th clap.