Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

image for Jihadis' apocalyptic end-of-days HQ of Dabiq sitting on 'Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch' sinkhole say Wiccans
Sunni day, everything turned so grey

Dabiq - A World Council of Wicca elder has written to Islamic State bigwigs about their adherents flocking to the Syrian border personality town of Dabiq scene of an ancient 7th century Sunni prophecy about Judgement Day.

Mother Superior says she is having to take a hard line with the seismology of the area where a predicted 9.5 Richter-scale earthquake is scheduled any day now just as thousands of IS fanatics begin converging on the site.

The town, she notes, straddles a satirical fault line where an 'infidel horde flying 80 banners meets a Muslim army in an apocalyptic battle' will meet its inevitable Armageddon...down an impending 800 foot sinkhole.

Any survivors are likely to be turned into swine as the Goddess marks her displeasure on the ugly ragbag of Caliphate wannabes hellbent on taking Her name in vain.

Expect seismic fireworks also in Mosul, Iraq, any time now before Halloween.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
94 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more