The Cosmos - A trainwreck astrological alignment straddles the Cosmos this Thursday when the Sun, Moon and Venus all pile into Scorpio triggering a solar eclipse in the Zodiac's Sign of Death.
Skywatchers liken the aspect to a morphine/cocaine highball administered via the jugular when karmic life support fails.
They stress the eclipse's shadow path will transit much of the Scorpio-ruled Middle East where murderous Islamic State death cult fanatics are baying for blood like born-again Nazis.
Thursday's stars are likely to see ruptures in the group's own hierarchy with a spate of jihaddi backstabbings predicted in the Iraqi town of Mosul.
The rampage may then spread into Islamic State's own internal affairs department where the Scorpio eclipse unearths a huge - some say disgusting! - schizm between indiginous Iraqi/Syrian killers and their imported European wannabe counterparts.
Commenting on the eclipse a spokesperson for internet spread betters Aintgottaprayer.con said, "These fucking bastards have got it coming" before setting odds of 25/1 for their imminent annihilation.
You can blame Comet Siding's Martian flypast if things get too frantic in the upcoming daze.