Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 10 May 2013


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike
Walkies? Please!

Residents of Newport are facing a bleak few days as the Newport Union of Dog Exercisers have unanimously agreed to go strike.

"Industrial action is the only recourse for our members," said Jack Russell, head of NUDE. "In real terms, the amount we have been earning has been steadily reducing, and the distance our members have been walking has been increasing. This has got to change."

The initial strike, scheduled for early next week, is set to last for five days, but could be extended if their demands are not met.

"Our members are insisting on having to walk no more than three dogs an hour, and have access to treadmills, VAT free dog poop bags and roller skates," said Russell. "The treadmills are in case it's raining, so they can walk the dogs inside."

For their part, the dog owners of Newport are less than pleased.

"This is not on," said Alan Station, owner of a prize winning old English sheepdog. "Are they expecting me to walk my own dog? And what about that poop scooping? Who's going to do that? I'm certainly not. If it's raining the thing can stay in and chew the table legs, or something."

The council do have people on standby for the expected sudden surge in dog poo.

"We've employed a crack team from the army," said David Pugh, councillor for Newport and Ryde. "They are our Super Trooper Pooper Scoopers!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more