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Funny story: Isle of Wight News: Island Tourism Ravaged by Fake Nelson Scourge

Isle of Wight News: Island Tourism Ravaged by Fake Nelson Scourge

The winter nights may be drawing in, but usually, on the Isle of Wight, it's still all systems go at this time of year, writes Tourism, Graeco-Roman Wrestling, Permaculture, Snuff, Pest Control, Differential Topology and Gynaecology correspondent, No...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - IoW to secede from the UK

Isle of Wight News - IoW to secede from the UK

Councillor for Cowes, Mr David Pugh, has vowed that the Isle of Wight is to secede from the UK due to a row over the new Pound coin, however, he is keen to stress that this has nothing to do with Brexit. Island residents prefer the coins from 193...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - family sue 2017 for being too modern

Isle of Wight News - family sue 2017 for being too modern

A family from Ventnor are trying to sue 2017 for being too modern. "There's a natural order in the universe," said father of two, Dick Womble. "And that's the order ordained by God." According to Mr Womble, the invention of indoor plumbing, su...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - "Fart" Powered Wind Farm Gets Go Ahead

Isle Of Wight News - "Fart" Powered Wind Farm Gets Go Ahead

High tech blade-less wind farms, the brain child of Isle of Wight inventor Johnny Dyson are to be erected around the Isle of Wight's vegetarian refugee camps. The wind farms, designed to extract the spent air from around the vegetarian New Age se...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Seized "Centrifuges" Not indicative Of Nuclear Capability

Isle Of Wight News - Seized "Centrifuges" Not indicative Of Nuclear Capability

"Centrifuges" siezed by customs officers on the Isle of Wight ferry were discovered to be old fashioned washing machines bound for the HMP Isle of Wight prisons it was claimed this morning. The Hotpoint Super-Swirl twin tub machines were thought...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - New Smuggler Theme Park Set To Rival Canada's Wonderland

Isle Of Wight News - New Smuggler Theme Park Set To Rival Canada's Wonderland

Canada, recently twinned with the Isle of Wight, may boast Wonderland, with its exhilarating collection of rides and roller coasters, but it is to be put in the shade by the proposed Smuggler Experience park planned for next season on the Isle of Wig...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Annual Bus "Weirdo" Outing To Isle Of Wight Banned From Motorway Service Station

Isle Of Wight News - Annual Bus "Weirdo" Outing To Isle Of Wight Banned From Motorway Service Station

The Manager of a Motorway Services Station near Scunthorpe has banned the "Weirdo Club Of Great Britain" annual outing from entering the premises this year after complaints from "normal" customers last year that the club members were not weird enough...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" - Did Greeks Buy Them For $26 million For Elgin Marbles Exchange

Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" - Did Greeks Buy Them For $26 million For Elgin Marbles Exchange

The Greek government is refusing to comment on reports that it has bought "The Needles", a major tourist attraction with its own Chili Dog stall and cable car system. The attraction, stolen last week from the Isle of Wight, turned up at a famous...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" Major Tourist Attraction Stolen By Souvenir Hunters

Isle Of Wight News - "The Needles" Major Tourist Attraction Stolen By Souvenir Hunters

A plea has gone out from the Isle Of Wight Tourist Office, warning people not to take unofficial souvenirs home following the loss of a major tourist attraction. The remains of "The Needles" were smuggled out in a white van sometime yesterday accordi...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - All Prisoners In H.M.P Isle of Wight To Be Released Into Community

Isle of Wight News - All Prisoners In H.M.P Isle of Wight To Be Released Into Community

A pill which cures prisoners of the urge to commit crimes is to be given to all inmates of H.M.P Isle of Wight. The pill's effects, which although it has to be administered daily, mean that all prisoners will remain completely law abiding as long as...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - TT Pavement Car Races - Casualties Fear

Isle of Wight News - TT Pavement Car Races - Casualties Fear

The controversial International Pavement Car Race is to be held on the Isle of Wight in February, despite fears of injuries and deaths as the racers hurtle around public pavements. The event could potentially become the most prestigious pavement vehi...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi

Isle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi

The Fungus Awards is an annual European awards ceremony honouring fungus related achievements in the mould and putrefaction industry. Winners are awarded the coveted golden mushroom statuette. The awards, first presented in 1929 at the Grand Hotel Bu...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

The Isle of Wight has fallen foul of E.U. regulations by being above the mandatory 65 mile maximum length for a British Isle. The Isle, famous for its Rock Festivals and sequence dancing has steadfastly refused to lop 2 miles from its length, even th...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked

The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

Isle of Wight News - Record Breaking Mole-Hill

The Isle of Wight has yet another world record to add to the burgeoning collection of records held in Newport Town hall, when it was discovered that the World's Largest Mole Hill has been discovered in Merstone. "Not many people visit Merstone," s...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - The Island is shrinking!

Isle of Wight News - The Island is shrinking!

A recent geological survey of the Isle of Wight has come to the worrying conclusion that the island is shrinking at a rate of two millimetres per year. The first survey on the actual size of the island in 1952 revealed it to have an area of 380.56...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News: Ventnor to be the new home of Plastic Surgery

Isle of Wight News: Ventnor to be the new home of Plastic Surgery

Ventnor, the island's southern most city, is set to become the new hotbed of plastic surgery in the UK, supplanting Harley Street as the top destination. "We can expect a a sudden influx of celebrities coming for their face jobs and wrinkle reduct...

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